Spring 2009
Give Yourself A Hand...shake that is!
More discussion about cultural differences between East and West. Here Danny writes about handshaking in Korea versus The United States.
Danny
Eye Contact and Shaking Hands
In Western countries, making direct eye contact when speaking and greeting others with a firm handshake are signs of respect but this is not necessarily the case in Korea. In Korea like in Japan, direct eye contact is best avoided with people more senior (higher up the hierarchy) than you because it might be interpreted as a challenge to status.
Looking at people when speaking to them without looking directly into their eyes and looking right away when speaking would also create a bad impression. Looking slightly downwards when talking tosomeone more senior than you is a sign of respect because you are clearly showing that you recognize and accept their status.
Shake someone's hand tightly?
A few months after I moved to NY, I had a chance to go to a pub with my classmates and teachers. With very loud music playing in the background, one of the teachers asked my name and shook my hand. Of course, I held his hand very lightly. "Grab tightly", he said and explained if you don't hold the other person's hand tightly, they may think that you are not interested, or you don't respect them. I was shocked since the way to shake hands was apparently different from my culture.
A firm handshake, by Western standards, would be too firm by Korean standards and might make a Korean feel uneasy. As you shake your hand, place your left hand on your right forearm and perform a slight bow at the same time. Shaking hands is not a traditional part of Korean culture; however, it is very common especially for business, so Koreans will expect to shake hands with foreigners, and if you go to Korea, you will be unlikely to face problems by shaking hands with people you meet.
Holding hands shows that you are intimate.
I would like to introduce another interesting cultural difference, between America and Korea. In Korea, many people have blank or stern looks on their faces when in public, but if you're in 'the group' then their ways can change dramatically.
Many Korean girls hold hands especially those in high school, but also moms and teenage daughters (not seen in the West very much) and older women too. It's not all over the place, but you can find it pretty much everyday. This does not mean they are gay, it is simply a part of our culture. Holding hands is more common among girls or women than boys or men.
Guys are rarely intimate with each other, but may shows signs of affection toward one another - especially after a few drinks. I had a guy friend at my university who liked to pat my butt. He always said, "You know, I am not gay...". My uncle also liked to hold my hand when I was young, and not for a few seconds (as you might expect) but for a few minutes. All of which is for showing that they are intimate. While I am writing about culture differences, I realize how different culture is interesting and important since by knowing that, we can enjoy the culture more without misunderstanding.
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